At last! A post that actually fits with what was intended

Finally, I can write something that others may not have concluded by themselves!

There's a lot of noise going round about this film 'Who's Gonna Stop Jack Frost.' The trailer was released all over the place yesterday along with a twitter profile and a facebook page.

The word going round is there'll be an online release on Wednesday and it looks like they should have some pretty big numbers signing in for that. Hoping this isn't the future of cinema as I'd miss the big chairs and overpriced popcorn but we'll see.


Anyway... for the big scoop! They've designed the trailer to look like an amateur job. There's no studio names, an unknown 'Ben Cocoran' directing and the reviews don't have any newspapers/names attributed to them. There have also been some pretty obvious plants on youtube starting discussions about it being a student's work. This is all well and good but I'm sure many of you looking at the cinematography thinking this clearly wasn't made on a student's drama college budget...?

Well you'd be right! Some slightly more official sources than punters on youtube say this is a kind of 'feeler project' into the potential success of online film releases. Putting it under an 'unknown director' was the studio's way of making it a fair test (fans will follow James Cameron anywhere). Though I can respect what they're doing couldn't resist 'spilling the beans' (YES!!). There are actually some big names behind this project and even bigger wallets.

Anyway, I will certainly be logging in on Wednesday to find out exactly who's behind this!

Drive....not fast but f***ing furious

This trailer was so misleading someone a woman from Michigan is attempting to sue the producers for false advertising. She may be  from the same side of sanity as the person who sued McDonald's for making them fat but she does a wonky stool to stand on.

The trailer draws us in to a high paced fast and furiousesque drama. There's potential for a little romantic sub plot and possibly an opportunity to see Ryan doing a bit of DIY. Certainly, we've got to expect some sick driving stunts with some cheesy lines and a fast paced thriller. The type of film you'd show you're 8 year old brother if he was after something a bit more exciting than Hurbie fully loaded.

Thank god I didn't. If I'd watched this blood bath when I was 8 I'd be ripping dolls heads off aged 9 and kicking the crap out of my classmates by middle school. The only hope I'd have had is if I'd flicked the channel after the slowest first half hour in action history. I couldn't find the exact figure but I'm pretty sure Gosling has about 15 lines all film. Not bad for a few million dollars.

Despite the lack of high paced adrenaline fueled car chases...and words the film didn't disappoint too much. If  patient enough to get involved Gosling's utterly complex character provided some interesting engagement. That and some pretty gruesome fight scenes left its mark and won an Oscar nomination.

A far cry from your notebook days Ryan.

The Primeval Crocodile...

This classic, not so well known marketing wizardry is actually bloody hilarious. The trailer is pretty terrifying. It talks about one of the world’s most prolific serial killers, who has claimed over 300 victims, and is still at large. 'Inspired by a true story'; although these words hold significantly less weight in the movie industry now we realise they don't need to be true, it's still a spine tingling touch.  Then of course it says that the killer is ‘not human.’  A 'not human' serial killer. So I;m thinking Charles Manson style so cruel can't be considered human. Then we see a boat fly out of the water, maybe Charles is a great swimmer or we have some kind of supernatural beast on our hands. The flash cuts don't allow us to see our killer but we're still pretty creeped out. Some supernatural killer/Charles Manson swimming God who still exists and has killed 300 people? This could be pretty sweet...

Who would have guessed the serial killers a fucking crocodile. Essentially leaving this film as just an over dramatised version of shark week, slightly altered of course. If these are the moral standards film trailers are setting we should expect to see something similar leading up to a film about the flu. It fits the bill. 'Serial killer, killed 1000s, still alive'. The opening numbers could be huge! 

Jarhead... Kanye's Jesus at it again

I remember seeing this trailer (when I was young and slightly more foolhardy than I am now) and almost 'shitting my breeks' with excitement. The Kanye classic laid over gun fire, explosions and Iraqi controversy was bound to get any movie lovers blood boiling. I had to see this film!

I got all my action loving buddies together and pumped them up for Saving Private Ryan meets Blackhawk Down with an even better soundtrack masterpiece....

To my surprise we got a dig at the US marines and a masturbating Jake Gylennhaal. I honestly spent the entire film waiting for 'Jesus walks' and was so pissed  off when it popped up in the credits, I condemned the film to the Z leagues. I felt like apologising to my dejected looking mates, but pride kicked in. Instead I started regretting not walking after the first hour of no Kanye and no action.

It took a couple of years to forgive the studio but since this blot on my cinematic diary I've watched the film about 10 times. It's bloody brilliant and in hindsight the trailer makes it more so.

Jarhead was the first war film of its kind. It banished the popularised image of a bloodbath with heroic protagonists putting their lives on the line for King and country (or in this case Bush and oil). There were no tear splattered love letters or life long companions dying in your arms. Instead it revealed a more 'truthful realistic' (or at least that was their message) image of war at the time; a load of playful kids, with the same expectations of the battlefield as those who watched the trailer, only to be faced with a mind numbing existence, forced into seeking entertainment via 'seeing what a 40 [calibre] does to a camel's head'. People may have been asking the same questions when they left; 'How did they deal with such hardship? Why on would someone sign up to that shit? Who wrote the soundtrack?' but the answers would be a whole lot different.

Although more impressed than previously, the question still stands as to whether that trailer was an intellectual attempt to engage the viewers' preconceptions or just a suit trying to get the millions of action loving schmucks through the door.